Time has no mercy. This year I am turning seventy-five. If my hair hadn’t turned grey and my body parts weren’t sinking, then I could ignore time. Even though it is the body that reminds me of ageing, my spirit also recognises the process. Oh I know that ‘I am not the body’, thank heavens! But still. The days seem like minutes and the weeks seem like days. Years seem like months. Time is a blur.
Recently I was in Noosa with Guruji. Every night we had a study group and I read from the writings of Ramana Maharshi. Perfect medicine for watching time. He tells his students ‘remember, you are not the body’. In his teaching the word ‘body’, is synonymous with the word ‘world.’ The world as we perceive it shows up in our body–in our inner world, in our mind, our thoughts and our feelings in our reactions. And he emphasis that we suffer when we identify with the body, with the world and not the Self.
Wrong identification, Ramana says, obstructs grace, obstructs our relationship with the Self. God cannot bless us when our hearts are full of the world, the fears and desires thinking about it brings.
I have asked myself, ‘if I died tomorrow would I have any regrets?’
Oh yes I was not a perfect daughter, student, wife or lover even. I also fell short of what the sages define as a perfect disciple. However, I love God and the Guru. I love the sages and saints who have walked the path. I love my fellow seekers. I am grateful for the life I have been given. I feel blessed. I have been able to spend time with two great Gurus. And, that is the miracle of my life.
This may be a perk of reaching old age, or it may be from spending my life with the Guru.